it occurred to me this morning that i have been allowing myself to become so stressed that i have stopped doing many of the things i enjoy, including napping, crafting, and blogging. i should explain that i have had such a rough work experience lately that it's been hard to think about or do much else.

however, because i am not a robot, and because i am a woman, this all work and no play job is not working out for me - which is actually been common knowledge for some time now, but i've spent months deliberating and berating myself for not being good enough, trying hard enough, being organized enough - you know the drill! - i've been trying to fit a square peg in a round hole - it's. just. not. working. out.

my husband and i were able to visit his family in ohio during the first weekend in february, and i was able to "compartmentalize" my life for that short period of time and focus on enjoying mundane activities and not allowing myself to become anxious about my job. i spent quite a bit of time in prayer that weekend, not that i hadn't been praying about it before, but i was able to really focus and spend some time there - and i literally begged for God to give me a way out.

four days later, on a particularly bad day of work, i received a job offer which i already knew i wanted to accept. i'm returning to my former employer, starting tomorrow, and will ease back into the swing of things while simultaneously stepping out of my current job... i gave them notice today.

i still have anxiety about some small things, like paying the bills ;) but... it's not eating me alive like this other anxiety has been, and i know in my heart of hearts that God has provided and will provide and i will continue to thank Him and praise Him for His provision and that He is taking care of the small stuff and the big stuff, too, because i can't do it without Him.