she is a fantastic woman whom i admire. i cherish her as a dear friend and confidant; a role model, and an excellent judge of character. she inspires me with her bravery and fierce determination, all the while being gentle and kind, even in the face of adversity.
growing up, i didn't know how special my home was. i didn't realize the luxury of having parents who behaved like mature, responsible adults - who placed the best interest of our family above what they might have felt like doing at the moment. they were disciplined and they held high expectations of all of their children, yet they also encouraged us not to just be "the best" but, instead, to do our best - we were loved for who we were and who we were becoming, not for anything that other people thought we "should" be.
my mom didn't try to live vicariously through me. she was content with being a woman and did not attempt to revive her adolescence, either by dressing/acting/being inappropriately or by pushing me to dress/act/be more like some supermodel. she taught me humility and servanthood by encouraging me to serve meals at funerals and visiting nursing homes; by befriending the friendless and not being a fair-weather-friend, even toward other girls who were being that to me.
she taught me strength and courage by encouraging me when i tried new things, like theater, swimming, gymnastics - or when i received honors, such as special academic programs, she wiped my face after i threw up from my nerves about joining new groups and hugged me, drove me to new activities - and she let me know that if i ever felt i needed to, i could always call her for a ride... and sometimes, i did.
she taught me grace in so many ways... most notably by her patient and loving example, but also
by teaching me how to handle failure - not in humiliation, but with grace. she taught me how to sit in a skirt on stage without showing off my unmentionables, and how to put my napkin in my lap - with my left hand - at formal dinners or on fancy dates. she believed that anything could be done if we set our minds to it - she taught me to believe it, too.
she taught me the satisfaction in working hard and taking pride in what i own and whatever job i find to do. growing up, mom's family didn't have a lot of money, and so often she had to do without. it took me a long time to understand why she kept such a clean house and was so strict about keeping things clean and straight. she and dad worked hard for what they had, and they had learned, from doing without, how valuable their time and effort, as well as their belongings, really were.
i could write more and more about how much my mom has taught me - the whole story can never truly be told. my mom is more valuable to me than words can express. she is my best friend, and i cherish her more than life itself.
so, with that being said... while mothers are on everyone's mind, i want to share a poem.
this poem is framed next to the consult room where the parents of new patients meet with our nurses to admit their children to our program. i know it is placed there to inspire thoughtfulness and change. however, i often find myself reading it and tempering the way i treat all children based on the wisdom of this poem. you may have read it before, though i'm sure you won't mind reading it again; and if you are perhaps reading it for the first time, please give yourself a moment to enter into these wise words... you'll see what a difference good parents can make.
If a child lives with cricism, he learns to condemn…
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight…
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive…
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself…
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy…
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilt…
But…
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient…
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident…
If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative…
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love…
If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is…
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice…
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and
those about him…
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in
which to live.
With what is your child living?
1 comment:
That is so sweet, Becca! Your mom is definately a role model for me. I want to that kind of a mother. And I hope that when Mackenzie grows up, I hope the daughter she chooses as a role model is you. :) We love you and your family and miss you very much.
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